| | I'm a fucking moron. Hahaha. I've been sitting up all night realizing that I've completely ruined something I treasured. Things aren't going to be the same and I don't care what anyone else says, getting shot down yesterday stung a lot more than I was expecting it too. What can I say? I'm a hopeless romantic after all.
I remember a friend said in high school that I should ask more girls out because the worst they can do is say no, yeah that really IS the worst they can do in so many ways. Maybe more so in this case because I fell head over fucking heels for her and didn't realize just how much until yesterday. But now, now I'm pretty sure things between us are going to be awkward and no matter what she says, no matter what I say, things aren't just going to go back to the way they were. I should've never written that Valentine's letter, I should've never confronted her about it later for an answer or some kind of hope.
Why, why the fuck is it that all these douchebag guys get everything they ever want, money, women. They get away with murder. Why, why the fuck is it that these same idiots can treat women like shit and the women still love them? I don't fucking get it and I never will. Here I learned what my father had to say and I'd like to think I"m a nice guy who's treated all the women I've been with like queens.
And one more thing. Fuck you Karma. You never come around when you're supposed to, for ANYONE. Not just me, her too, you left us both hanging high and fucking dry. Blow by one fucking day already.
But enough bitching and ranting, I'm still kind of in shock of how much it stung to be denied. I guess I didn't even realize my own attraction but it suddenly hit me after she left last night and I was just sitting alone thinking. I haven't been able to sleep because it's all I can think about...I'm pitiful. fuck it. I'm done.
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| | Posted 3/5/2008 7:09 AM - 11 Views - 0 eProps - 0 comments
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